We Are Illuminati: UFO Clicker

Conspiracy theorists have been right about exactly one thing: somebody should be profiting from all this. We Are Illuminati: UFO Clicker is that somebody. Tapps Games' satirical incremental from March 2018 casts you as a rising member of the Illuminati, using mind control, hidden messages in music videos and weird chemicals in the water supply to convert the population into happily subservient lambs. The tin foil hat is optional but thematically encouraged.

What the loop feels like

You tap a conspiracy node and Influence pours out. Underground media outlets, deep-web servers and eventually secret governments join your portfolio as automated producers, and a wiretap message flashes across the screen; intercept it for diamonds and a temporary boost. The scale climbs from local internet conspiracies to global media to alien integration, and one day you brainwash everything and start again with Lackeys. That's We Are Illuminati.

How it actually works

The engine is influence generation: manual taps on your primary UFO or conspiracy node earn Influence, and purchased producers, underground media, deep-web servers, secret corporations and governments, generate it passively per second. Wiretap intercepts are the engagement layer, popping random messages that yield premium diamonds and temporary boosts. Progression climbs vertical tiers of world domination, each demanding a massive Influence jump that quickly renders clicking obsolete and turns the game into a passive income optimization puzzle. The prestige mechanic is literal brainwashing: reset your buildings and Influence for Lackeys, a permanent multiplier currency, and the shop converts diamonds and Lackeys into clone boosts, automation unlocks and permanent upgrades. The eavesdropping fantasy of tapping world leaders' offices rounds out the theme.

Where it stumbles

The satire is the best part, and it cannot carry the whole game. Players describe the experience as an egregious ad farm, with constant ad-watching nudges for power-ups and purchases that fail to remove all interruptions. Even by idle standards the mechanics are basic and repetitive, and the interface draws persistent bug complaints, including broken ad integrations that crash the app and upgrade systems overly dependent on diamonds. Compared with the deeper idle games it sits beside, the long-term progression lacks hooks, and the joke runs out before the numbers do.

Playing it today

Free on both stores with in-app purchases, positively rated by its audience on a modest review base. Get it on the App Store for iOS or on Google Play for Android, where it goes by We Are Illuminati: Conspiracy. For world-domination satire with more bite, our Taps to Riches entry runs the freed-villain angle, and Civilization Clicker does the civilisation-scale numbers without the tinfoil.

The verdict

A funny premise wrapped around a very ordinary clicker, with an ad economy that undermines the joke it is telling. Join for the reptilians, leave when the wiretaps stop being surprising.